In this disruptive era, it’s as if all of the adults became
anxious and depressed teenagers at a high-school dance, after we just got 51%
on a big exam, and our crush sent mixed signals just before they moved away. It
seems that the adults are just as susceptible to adolescent anxiety as the
Every job in every sector is under intense change, and at
the very least we’ll each have to pick up some new tools and apply them to our
current job just to break even. But
it’s far more likely that your job is the subject of a double-or-nothing bet.
Can people change? Yes, but they have to work at it. There is an interesting article from the British Psychological Society about malleable personalities. The idea of a malleable personality is that we can change who we are based on the circumstances, or in a chosen direction of who we want to be. This idea is newer than most people think.
There has been a shift in psychiatry away from the decades-long theory that our brains are fixed after a certain age. Instead, our brains are subject to neuroplasticity, in which we are always growing and adapting. I was first exposed to the concept a decade ago by Dr. Norman Doidge in his 2007 book The Brain That Changes Itself.
Doidge was one of the earliest researchers in the psychiatry
of neuroplasticity. He had a really hard time convincing fixed-mindset people
in his own field that people can change. Major shifts in scientific thinking
can take decades within the academic
discipline. Then the researchers need to convince the general public, which takes
So, let’s see how quickly we can pick up a new concept and apply
it to our lives, starting now.
The newer research about malleable personalities was about
helping teenagers cope with anxiety and depression. The researchers created a
30-minute video for teens to watch, explaining some new concepts:
“They heard from older youths
saying they believe people can change,
and from others saying how they’d used belief in our capacity for change (a “growth mindset”) to cope with problems
like embarrassment or rejection. The teenagers learned strategies for applying these principles…” (Emphasis
The study showed noticeable improvements, relative to a
control group, in depression and anxiety over a nine-month period. The study
looked at both the self-reporting by the teens and the opinions of those teens’
parents. The researchers were particularly enthusiastic that this brief video
is scale-able, can be offered to all teens universally, and can set up kids for
a more successful intervention later in their lives.
Adopting a Growth
Mindset in a Changing Workplace and Changing World
Although the study is limited to teens in a clinical sample, the findings may be relevant to the general population’s adaptability to change. Workplaces are in upheaval because of technology and globalization. Every region is gripped by either unemployment or unaffordable housing. Inequality and social media are making people increasingly anxious they haven’t made it. Democracies are vulnerable to demagogues who offer temptations to turn back the clock.
In the workplace, what should we do?
Adopt a growth mindset, change our personalities as we see
fit, and give ourselves permission to become two or more different types of
people. Scheme to have a backup plan or a side-hustle. Put down the smartphone
and start reading. Regard societal upheaval as a topic of exceptional cocktail banter.
Then talk about your feelings, eat a sandwich, and have a
You’ll need the rest. Because tomorrow is another person.
[The above is a modified repost of an article from December
Is it just me, or have there been an awful lot of career-advice articles in social media about “X is more important than IQ for career success”? The articles are usually about a specific attribute that truly moves people forward to accomplish life goals. But on closer examination, general intelligence can be brought to bear on all of these “more important” attributes such that IQ is the true cornerstone.
Leadernomics.com has a great infographic about eight things that are more important than IQ for career success. Those items are:
Self-Regulation. Take time to think before you act, and manage your emotions prior to reacting to negative situations.
Growth Mindset. Carol S. Dweck makes the case (which I summarize here) that excellence is not a set point but rather an act of becoming. Welcome challenges and setbacks as learning experiences and opportunities to improve and grow.
Resilience. When you fail, don’t let it get to you — persevere, try something different, and keep trying. This is the “grit” made famous by Angela Duckworth in her TED Talk and book.
Passion. Hidden in the research about the 10,000-hour rule to becoming exceptional is a graveyard of broken hearts. Many people lost the passion for their true calling after a few hundred hours of experience. A mean coach, strict parents, performance-contingent rewards, and a long list of deal-breakers can suck the life out of anyone’s potential. It’s the passion that nets the hours, and the hours cause the talent. Guard your passions like a precious gem.
Empathy. The ability to feel the feelings of your clients and colleagues allows you to work with them on things that are important to them. Empathy develops that closeness and warmth at the root of great relationships. Empathy is a key ingredient in Brené Brown’s research on vulnerability and shame. It’s critical to feel the feelings of others in order to help them with those things that bother them the most.
Conscientiousness. These people are disciplined, compliant, and plan ahead. Salt-of-the-earth people get things done, allowing others to rely on them, building trust and teamwork. In my experience, you can be conscientious but not be recognized, so you may need some other behavior to turn this quality into gold, such as boasting or billing.
Openness to Experience. More to the point, curiosity. Curious people are four times as likely to succeed in class. Curiosity is a mixture of several other attributes above, but does deserve its own word. It’s easiest to understand why curiosity is important when you look at it in reverse and imagine those who are uncurious. Admit it, you want them to fail.
Social Skills. This is a sincere other-orientation where you can, according to the leadernomics.com article, “network, function in a team and bring people together…” At this point we’re getting into a magic-jelly attribute that’s really just dozens of mini-skills pulled together by experience.
You may recognize self-regulation, empathy, and social skills as the key elements of emotional intelligence, as described by Dan Goleman in his book by the same name. Goleman makes the case that our wellbeing and social advancement is strongly influenced by an emotionally-awakened ability to pull together meaningful relationships and interactions. The evidence is strong that mutual understanding at an emotional level is critical to having a good life. Relationships are important, and you cannot finesse relationships with logic alone.
The evidence is strong that mutual understanding at an emotional level is critical to having a good life. Relationships are important, and you cannot finesse relationships with logic alone.
Can Low IQ Undermine Other Types of Intelligence?
But sometimes IQ is still critical to success. A few years ago, I watched an event at the Special Olympics which my workplace was hosting. I was doing Olympic lifts as part of my fitness routine, and I was curious to see what the activity looked like for those with an intellectual disability. Lifting can be a brain game. Any lack of focus and concentration can cause failure. You need to calculate the correct weight, approach the bar as if it’s the only thing in your world, and put all of your focus into one thing: lift this weight. If your thoughts under-perform,they can cause the body to under-perform.
One contestant at the Special Olympics was a large fellow who was the previous year’s champion. He made two really impressive lifts at a high weight, the last of which was obviously near his maximum (the beet-red face is the give-away). He only needed to make one last lift that was equal to his previous one, and he would become champion once again. But instead, he asked to have an additional twenty pounds put onto the bar. He pulled and pulled but the bar wouldn’t budge. He didn’t place because he had not made three successful lifts.
I thought to myself, did his intellectual disability affect his athletic performance? Was it entirely up to him to choose to add twenty pounds? What was his emotional state when he made this decision? Was he over-confident? Did he perceive that today was going to be his best day ever? I also wonder if he learned from this experience, and whether he would persevere and came back with a vengeance next year.
Are There MultipleTypes of Intelligence?
Watching this athlete attempt his third lift was intriguing to me because of the disparities in his talents. There’s a debate about whether there is more than one type of intelligence. Howard Gardner is the author of several articles and a book on the topic. Gardner proposes the theory that there are in eight different intellectual ‘modalities.’ The first three items – visual-spatial, linguistic-verbal, and logical mathematical – resemble those abilities tested in IQ tests. Two others – interpersonal and intrapersonal – once again match the emotional intelligence indicators described by Goleman. Then there are the two modalities where it’s possible to become a world-famous star in sport or music – bodily-kinesthetic and musical-rhythmic.
But Gardner’s theory starts to falls apart when he gets to naturalistic intelligence because he names a specific subject-area, which is biology. Why biology but not other disciplines? This puzzle brings into question whether a specific interest in nature or music or math are just the canvas onto which intelligence is applied. Indeed, Gardner starts with seven intelligences, but then adds existential, moral, and naturalistic intelligences. At this point, we’re on a slippery slope to the full list in the Clifton strengths assessment, which itself has stronger empirical basis and a broad public appeal.
One Intelligence toRule Them All
Can someone with a really strong IQ just become good at the non-logic intelligences? There is some evidence that this is the case, when we look into something called the “g factor.” The g factor is the notion that there is a core type of general intelligence (g = general). According to the evidence, this intelligence passes-through into the sub-variants of other types of intelligence. When studies extract this g factor from several batteries of tests, the varied g-factor measurements are extremely similar regardless of the type of test. And, there’s always a positive relationship between someone’s g factor and their measures of other intelligence types, ranging from 10-90% with an average “g load” of 60%.
But there’s heated debate about whether there is an underlying single type of intelligence, probably because of a touchy social critique. The g factor implies that people have a fate and are destined for a set path in life, like Oedipus or Macbeth. This is disturbing, it feels unfair, and if it were true, a lot of people would wish it weren’t so. By contrast, the multiple intelligences theory brings to mind the legend of stone soup in which a visitor comes to town and places a stone in a giant pot. He asks for help, and everyone in the village throws in their own special ingredient, a metaphor for diversity in talents. The village boils up the soup, it’s delicious, and everyone gets to eat. Society rocks!
I love the stone soup story, but to clarify, it’s about exceptional sociology. A clever visitor manages to get a great meal for free. The visitor is a leader, has a collective orientation, and he is strong on Gardner’s interpersonal intelligence. However, we could also interpret that the visitor also has a strong g-score. On one hand, we don’t want geniuses to hoard all the money and power, but on the other hand, we want to harness genius such that it contributes to collective wellbeing. I think the research about intelligence and the way we discuss it in the public sphere is strongly influenced by these kinds of social and political forces. Notwithstanding the evidence, we’re entitled to influence these social forces as citizens.
We don’t need to reject the notion that brain power drives positive results. We need the context, the wisdom, and the agency to organize ourselves such that society moves forward, together. And we’re going to need that big guy to get the rock into the pot.
Do you have a strange pang of guilt about your wake-up time? You shouldn’t. People have varied natural wake-up times, and the “best” time to wake up appears to be extremely personal.
One of the more important workplace numbers – and one that is rarely discussed – is the normal hours of work and the degree to which hours are flexible. Work hours are a big deal because people need to make a lot of trade-offs between family size, housing, commuting distance, and family care obligations. In an office environment, while it’s good to have a general sense of when we want people around for meetings, it also makes sense to ensure peoples’ work and home lives to be compatible.
Wake Time is Mostly Genetic
One item that complicates normal work hours is peoples’ sleep times. While a lot of people have a typical sleep pattern of 11pm-7am, plenty of people tend to be early risers or night owls. The variety of sleep times are linked to something called chronotype. There are many news articles implying that waking early is virtuous, but there is little discussion of whether we can choose to change our sleep patterns. My reading of the research shows mixed results amongst those attempting to change their wake time.
There are several genetic variables that affect chronotype. The Wikipedia entry on the topic notes that “there are 22 genetic variants associated with chronotype.” The sleep cycle is related to our levels of melatonin and our variations in body temperature. Age has a major impact on sleep patterns. Children and those aged 40-60 are more likely to be early risers, while teens and young adults are more likely to be night owls.
In an HBR article from 2010, biology professor Christoph Randler was interviewed about an article he published on sleep cycles. He cited one study that found that “…about half of school pupils were able to shift their daily sleep-wake schedules by one hour. But significant change can be a challenge. About 50% of a person’s chronotype is due to genetics.”
Looking into people’s personal experiences in attempting to wake up earlier, they will often emphasize discipline and routine in waking up properly. Other articles identify wake-up technologies that oblige you get out of bed promptly. The best overview that I could find comes from lifehacker.org, which has a great infographic on why and how to become an early riser.
Dr. Randler notes that evening people tend to be smarter, more creative, have a better sense of humor, and be more outgoing. By contrast, morning people “hold the important cards” as they get better grades and the opportunities that arise from them. Morning people anticipate problems and minimize them, and are more proactive. “A number of studies have linked this trait, proactivity, with better job performance, greater career success, and higher wages.”
Team Productivity and Genetic Diversity
What is notable is that early risers have the traits that are most beneficial for their personal effectiveness and their personal career success. This is troublesome. You see, if early risers are more likely to get into positions of power and status they are also more likely to end up with a captive audience through which they can imply that others should be more like them. This may be a factor in the early-rising hype.
I would assert that an employer must always look beyond individual performance and pay close attention to teamwork. It is common for some behaviours to cause one person get ahead to the detriment of the team, and part of good management is to nip this in the bud and put the team first. If there is a solid talent pool of night owls who bring smarts and creativity which is historically less recognized in grades or career advancement, their contribution might be strong and also under-appreciated. We must consider what is best for the entire workplace, and cultivate the best contributions from all sleep types.
If the purpose of our diversity and employment-equity efforts is to get the best out of all people regardless of how they were born, perhaps we should be open-minded about sleep patterns. The correct moral standard should be inclusiveness and team effectiveness.
Dr. Randler, who is from Germany, is quick to acknowledge that our bias towards early-rising is more circumstantial than fact-based:
“Positive attitudes toward morningness are deeply ingrained. In Germany, for example, Prussian and Calvinist beliefs about the value of rising early are still pervasive. Throughout the world, people who sleep late are too often assumed to be lazy. The result is that the vast majority of school and work schedules are tailored to morning types. Few people are even aware that morningness and eveningness have a powerful biological component.”
We can’t choose to be a morning type any more than we can choose to be tall, male, white, a baby boomer, or someone with executive-face. And for that matter, we can’t choose to be Prussian. Under what circumstances would we oblige everyone to fit a single standard of excellence that elevates one genetic type to be superior to the rest? Didn’t we sort this out already?
[The above is a repost of an article from January 2, 2018]
Can you pull yourself up by your bootstraps to overcome an injustice you have faced? It really does depend. There’s a thriving debate about whether women should act as individuals or as part of a collective when fighting for equality. Quartz recently ran an insightful article about the impact of Sheryl Sandberg’s bookLean In and her related TED talk. While Lean In has received a great deal of critique from all corners, the article in Quartz argues that Sandberg negated systematic discrimination and told women they can personally overcome discrimination by taking individual action.
The Quartz article is titled All Career Advice for Women is a Form of Gaslighting. Gaslighting is when an abuser contradicts your understanding of reality, perhaps telling you the opposite of what you know is true, in a persistent manner that causes you to question your sanity. The key moment is when the abuser says you’re making things up in your head, or that you’re going crazy. If you’re in good shape, you identify that the problem is the abuser and take action. Otherwise, you could endure mistreatment for years. This definition doesn’t really match Sheryl Sandberg’s critique. Sandberg rightfully describes structural issues about how women’s careers are held back by the system, and then proceeds to offer tips to get ahead. It’s individuals engaging with society, and her advice is fair game.
What the Research
The Quartz article and a similar overview in Harvard Business Review summarize fresh research from December 2018. (For the full study, see Kim, J. Y., Fitzsimons, G. M., & Kay, A. C. (2018). Lean In messages increase attributions of women’s responsibility for gender inequality. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 115(6), 974-1001.)
The paper covers six large-sample studies that look at how
people judge women’s inequality based on messages they are fed. The main variable is a polarized portrayal
of Sheryl Sandberg’s critique. In one sample, researchers only quoted
Sandberg’s analysis of systemic discrimination, and people who saw this message
came away with the impression that sexism was society’s responsibility and that
we need to band together to change the system. In the other sample, they only quoted Sandberg’s advice on what individual
women can do to improve their lot in life and get past everyday sexism. In that
case people perceived that it was women’s individual responsibility to overcome
sexism, and that women themselves are the
cause of the sexism.
This notion that women cause sexism is victim-blaming. The researchers attribute this thinking to a kind
of mental gymnastics that people indulge in to get past the discomfort that
there is injustice in the world. But logically, victim-blaming is malfunctioning
thinking. If you take
reality seriously you must perceive injustice as it occurs and contribute voice
and effort to remedy it.
The academic article is most concerned that people can’t
disentangle causation and solution in their own minds:
“Responsibility for the problem, in this model, describes responsibility for the origin of the problem, or causal responsibility. Responsibility for the solution, in contrast, describes responsibility for finding a solution, or control over outcomes. …the two forms of responsibility are conceptually distinct, but will often be correlated.” [Emphasis added]
And indeed the research did find that the two were mixed up
together in peoples’ head such that people became individualists or
collectivists based on what messages they were fed.
How the Story Evolved
Beyond the Research
Then it gets sticky. There are individual reasons why some people thrive and others fail, much as there are systemic factors that change a person’s odds of doing well. Therefore, there is a combination of collective and individual strategies to pursue women’s equality. If a woman is born petite, she can take up kickboxing and stare down physical intimidation. Conversely, if a woman had chosen a career which streamed her into a lower-wage workplace, she could still sign a union card and participate in a group effort that improves her life chances.
Even if people agreed that inequality was societal, that
does not prove that all solutions must be collective. Social justice advocates
are quick to acknowledge that you need a diversity of tactics to achieve your
goals. It is not authoritatively true that individualism and collectivism fall
on some great divide, with one being good and the other being bad.
We all need to aspire to a nuanced view, but that’s not
where critics took things. The authors of the Quartz article and the study
itself seize on the one-half of the research sample that deliberately skews Sandberg’s
message as individualist, asserting that do-it-yourself (DIY) feminism is bad
These people are like those tourists that went around Europe
taking snapshots of themselves at the locations of the fictional events in The Da Vinci Code. Although there are
real individualists out there, in this study Sandberg’s self-loathing misogynistic
individualism was anabstraction fabricated for research purposes
only. Now, social critics are weighing-in that if choosing between two
polar opposites – a fabricated individualism or a fabricated collectivism – women
must favour collectivism as “correct.” But the problem is not that causation
and solution are actually twinned and
people must choose between individualism and collectivism. It’s that if we
revert to polarized thinking, individualists tend to win.
How To Actually
Become an Executive
There are better sources to turn to if you are trying to get promoted. Elsewhere in the TED Talks, Susan Colantuono delivers a talk entitled The Career Advice You Probably Didn’t Get. Women are already well-represented in middle-management, the question is why do they not get beyond that. Colantuono found that a good executive must be good at three things:
Use the greatness in you (individual
Engage the greatness in others (leadership)
and sustain extraordinary outcomes (business, strategic, and financial acumen)
The first two items are important for getting into middle management. When women are
given career advice it is disproportionately in areas in the first two
categories: self-promote, get a mentor, network, and speak up. Corporate talent
and performance management systems are highly
devoted to engaging the greatness in others, the second of the two
competencies. That’s not going to make a difference for this problem.
That is because when assessing executive potential, the third item is valued twice as heavily as
each of the other two. Women have truly
been kept in the dark that they need to know more about finance and
strategy in order to get an executive job. To clarify, society has withheld this information from women (i.e. the
causation is collective). However, because each person’s best learning hinges
on individual interest and personal
goals, women need to determine that this advice is accurate and change their
own course as individuals. That is, if becoming an executive is important to
The majority of executives (63%) perceive they do not have
strategic alignment with everyone rowing in the same direction. Colantuono
proposes that one of reasons why
there is not strategic alignment is that those women who are half of middle
management have not received clear messaging that they need to be “…focused on
the business, where it’s headed, and their role in taking it there…” The
culprit is not clever-and-efficient sexism, it’s incompetence but with a gendered filter. It’s squarely within the
responsibility of men in power to remedy this issue, if they plan on being any
good at their day jobs. Boards, CEOs, HR Executives, and individual managers
must all change their mindsets in order to turn this around.
In this context it doesn’t seem at all like women have to choose between a collective or individual orientation. Women aspiring to executive roles need to have a clear sense of the collective vision of the organization and figure out how they’re going to lead their team towards that collective purpose. If anything is gaslighting, it is the deliberate misquoting of Sandberg’s work. In her TED talk, Sandberg spends a fair amount of time describing appropriate trade-offs between women’s household collective orientation and their workplace collective orientation. Indeed in May of 2016, a year after her husband died, Sandberg acknowledged that “Some people felt that I did not spend enough time writing about the difficulties women face when they have an unsupportive partner or no partner at all. They were right…” She acknowledged this two years before the research that polarized her comments.
Women with busy careers make frequent trade-offs about when
they will take care of themselves and when they will take care of the group. It
will ever be circumstantial which decisions are the right ones, and which tactics
will actually work. Nobody knows this better than the very social justice
leaders who foster individual agency when they encourage vulnerable populations
to pick up a picket sign and protest.
Do you feel put-upon to stay productive at work, and at home, and in friendships? It’s exhausting when you think about it. Everywhere
you look there is a new tip to make your relationships super authentic, to make
your career deeply meaningful, and for your morning routine to run like a
seamless assembly line. If you feel boxed-in by unreasonable, self-imposed
expectations, you are not alone. That is because we are universally immersed in
values that are the rational extension of the passing whims of merchants.
Bourgeois Values and the
In an article in Quartz entitled Life hacks are part of a 200-year-old movement to destroy your humanity, Andrew Taggart puts our current middle-class lives into an historical context. There is constant speculation that we’re entering a different historic era. If we look at how we entered our current era we might learn how we will moveonward.
Taggart cites economic historian Diedre McCloskey who
describes the present as the “Bourgeois Era.” The Bourgeois Era was created 200
years ago when the industrial revolution took hold, merchants bloomed, and
those merchants promptly overpowered aristocrats and religious leaders. Your
ancestors were controlled by lord and cleric, but you have broken these chains
and are now controlled by your boss, your clients, and advertisers. There has
been progression, but you are not entirely free.
You are not free because your thinking is enveloped by prevailing values. I would note this is something that typically happens under hegemony: not only does the economic and political dominance of the elite control your life, but the values of the elite permeate the thinking of those under their sway. Long ago, aristocrats cherished the values of honour, leisureliness, and pride. Christian peasants valued charity and reverence. These are rare values today, to the point where you almost have to look them up.
When the Bourgeois Era came along, it came with “the
bourgeois virtues of prudence, temperance, trustworthiness, and pride in fair
dealing.” We now look up to visionary entrepreneurs who embody these values,
abandoning wars of aristocratic honour, or the self-flagellation required to
seek salvation. And the new(ish) bourgeois values bring their own problems,
creating diseases of the soul and existential heartbreak. When you email that final-final
draft at 3 p.m. on a Friday and imagine the weekend ahead of you, is your life truly more complete than those who have
confessed their sins?
What Happens to Old
Values When We Make Progress?
Taggart does not entirely suggest that we go back to the
older values. The way I think of it is, there are places on this earth where
the biggest problem is inadequate plumbing. If those regions achieved adequate plumbing that would be
great, however, it would be foolish for them to continue to obsess about plumbing as their highest goal. You’re
supposed to move on. Perhaps their next goals would be fair elections, clear
title on land ownership, and universal K-12 education. And after that, their
goals might be togetherness of communities, greater self-expression, and nicer
clothing. But when the community comes together you don’t abandon plumbing. Rather,
it fades into the background as important-yet-forgettable.
As such, we may hold onto a variant of aristocratic honour
when we defend our prestige in the workplace. And we may still be advancing the
Christian-peasant virtue of charity when we support social change movements by
contributing time, money, or simply our voices. But we remain completely
shackled to the bourgeois values of temperance and prudence when we count our
calories, declutter our wardrobes, and try to get a better telco package. You
cannot go home from work and adopt the aristocratic value of leisureliness
because temperance and prudence have penetrated ourhomes. Look busy!
I don’t think the solution is to seek the opposite of bourgeois dominance. I get
triggered by the word bourgeois
because of my past exposure to the labour movement. I’ll always be in remission
from polarizing Marxist patter. I always get that I-know-where-this-is-going
feeling. If I allow tomorrow’s next Lenin to keep talking I’m going to have to
eat rice and beans at a banquet hall where I am sucked into a bottomless pit of
volunteerism and bad taste. But it’s not just the left who can lead you astray.
You also can’t let clerics and aristocrats join in on the bourgeois-bashing, as
they don’t even want you to have plumbing.
The mainstream has done an exceptional job at offering
meaningful careers to those who are intelligent and hard-working. There used to
be a crowd of people who were alienated from the mainstream, some of whom were
intelligent leadership-types who could create a meaningful rebel resistance. But
now that corporations are adopting corporate social responsibility, advancing
transformational leadership styles, and increasingly promoting a diverse
population into the professions and leadership, there’s not as much appeal to
heckling from the margins. Who is going to lead the resistance? Not always the
best people. Fifteen per cent of the population has a personality disorder, but
in political crowds (on either side of the fence) it seems more like one-half. The
negation of the current dominant
class might not be a viable path forward.
What Values Will Take
If I were to name the cherished values of our next era, I would go with humility, introspection, and empathy. The reason why is that the data keeps revealing cognitive fallacies and implicit bias that make it clear that our brains only have the power of a 40-watt light bulb. In order to do well, we have to get over ourselves and ask us why we think the things we think. And this is done best by looking at the evidence and working with a team. We need to figure ourselves out while we help others do the same. This task is impossible if you think you have everything figured out, so humility is your first task.
As artificial intelligence and robots take over the
productivity race, those who pull ahead will do something human that artificial
intelligence just can’t do. This kind of holistic
thinking is deeply incompatible with the conformity and profit-maximizing focus
of the promotable class of agreeable bourgeois leaders. Instead, the new
leaders are those who look inside of themselves, build their story, and enmesh
their own story with those of others. It’s not something that can be written by
a public relations professional or a ghostwriter. You must become yourself,
make it real, and show up as authentically human.
There’s no eye contact with any app anywhere that will give
you a sense that your humanity resonates with your colleagues, friends, and
family. Rather, you start with that which is human and tell the market and the
technology what is required.
So when you get home on Friday and look at those dishes that
need loading, try going deep on why you care. Are you allowed to do nothing? Is
the person who loads the dishwasher committing a benevolent act? Or are you, in
all honesty, trying to keep everything running smoothly? If you meditate long
enough, you might just decide that it’s really about the ick factor. Then you’re in the future.
Do you really need to network to get ahead? You might wish you didn’t have to. Sure, the appetizers at those networking events are tasty. But do you really need to spend more time talking with strangers you would never invite for dinner? Yes you do, but mostly you need to imagine a life where you can learn something from anyone.
An interesting debate emerged in August 2017 between two big names, and their arguments deserve a closer look. Adam Grant, who has an exceptional TED podcast called Work Life, proposed that networking wasn’t that big of a deal in achieving career success. Jeffrey Pfeffer, one of my favorite counter-intuitive business authors, respectfully disagreed.
Grant provided several examples of people who worked hard at developing an exceptional talent or creating something novel, who were only then picked up by an established social network. He noted that there are many cases of people trying and failing to use networking to advance their careers in the absence of underlying talent. Those who develop a meaningful contribution are more likely to get noticed. The subsequent networking is a consequence, not a driver.
Pfeffer did a good job of acknowledging that being excellent in more ways than one is important. However, he asserted that there is a major distinction between talented people who are not networked, and those who got networked and achieved career breakthrough afterwards.
Pfeffer and Grant agree on a core point, which is that people should aspire to become intrinsically excellent and then extend that excellence with robust networking. They are just debating what-causes-what. I think that everything causes everything else, and that it’s often ridiculous and pointless to find one thing that’s driving everything. For example, I propose that all of those successfully networked people got a great night’s sleep, and their sleep is the main driver of both the intrinsic talent and the excellent networking. That’s just a little example of how easy it is to choose a single driver of excellence. You can always take it back one step and find one thing that is even more important.
In terms of applying the research to our daily efforts, the key issue is to understand network diversity. As a sociological puzzle, it is strange and disturbing how we’re attracted to people who are just like us, how we expect our friends to like each other, and how we get sucked into tiny little cliques of like-minded people. All of these cliques are confirmation-bias echo-chambers filled with ideas and opportunities that only go in circles.
In an article at Entrepreneur magazine, networking expert Ivan Misner emphasizes the importance of diversity in networking efforts. He describes the experience of his colleague Patti Salvucci who arrived early at a networking event in Boston. She struck up a conversation with an older gentleman who was laying out coffee mugs for the meeting. She noticed his great voice and asked about it. It turns out that he used to be a commentator on CNN and had interviewed several public figures including JFK, Nelson Mandela, and Martin Luther King, Jr. He had downshifted and moved to be closer to his daughter. Later at the event, there was another person who confessed that he wanted to start a radio talk show but had no idea where to start. Salvucci recommended he talk to the gentleman who was helping with the coffee, explaining the back-story. Nice connection!
That story shows new opportunities, but sometimes it’s about new opinions. When I was coming around to the realization that I was an atheist, I had a conversation with a colleague about my expectation that everything can be figured out. She had her own spiritual values, and she pressed me on whether it’s possible to have a deep admiration for the unknown. Pshaw, I said, people who lead society shouldn’t be obliging us to believe in anything that lacks evidence. That was my impulse. But her comment grew on me.
A year later I came back to her and confessed that the reason I always pursue evidence is that I am deeply passionate about the unknown. She was happy to leave-be the unknown, and to experience the joy of being surprised by the unexpected. I wanted to overcome the unknown as an obstacle, as an adventure in the pursuit of research and wisdom. We had two variants of a similar opinion. I had to fess-up that she had a great point, and that she had shaken me from a smugness.
Maintaining your cliques is what keeps you in your place. By contrast, the disruption of the established order is largely achieved by finding unusual connections with people who make you uncomfortable in some way. In order to make new connections in untapped areas, you must be brave and choose discomfort. And while maintaining discomfort during civil conversations, you must be curious about the opinions of those you at first think have it wrong. This important work is impossible to do if you lack humility. If you think you have figured everything out, you need to suspend your disbelief, and consider that others can change you for the better. Ask others where they are coming from, get sincere and uncomfortable, and play with the idea of changing your perspective. It’s hard work, but it’s usually the only way to get away from the tried-and-true.
Sincere networking isn’t one thing. It’s several things; attempting courage, enduring discomfort, developing curiosity, feeling a sense of humility, and changing perspectives. If you do all of that in one day, you’ll sleep heavily that night. And when you wake up in the morning, you might realize that you can accomplish anything.